Why does familiarity breed contempt and can you give examples of this?

Question

I've been thinking about the saying 'familiarity breeds contempt' and how it applies to relationships and interactions in daily life. It seems like the more we know someone, the more we might take them for granted or overlook their positive traits. Can anyone explain why this happens and share some examples of it in real life?

Raina Scott · Accepted Answer

1. **Personal Relationships**: In close friendships or romantic partnerships, familiarity can lead to complacency. For instance, a couple that has been together for several years might start to overlook the small gestures that once meant a lot, like saying 'thank you' or planning special dates. Over time, they may take each other for granted, leading to resentment or feelings of contempt. 2. **Workplace Dynamics**: In a professional setting, when employees work closely with their colleagues, they may become overly critical of each other. For example, a team that has collaborated for a long time might start to focus on each other's flaws rather than strengths, leading to a toxic environment where appreciation is lacking. 3. **Societal Interactions**: On a broader scale, familiarity can lead to contempt in societal contexts as well. For instance, people may become desensitized to issues like poverty or homelessness in their community. The more they encounter these issues without taking action, the more they may develop a dismissive attitude, thinking, 'It's just how things are.' 4. **Family Dynamics**: Within families, children may take their parents for granted as they grow older. They might fail to recognize the sacrifices their parents made for them, leading to a lack of respect or appreciation. This can create rifts in family relationships, as the younger generation may become dismissive of their parents' advice or experiences. 5. **Cultural Contexts**: In cultural settings, people may become contemptuous of traditions or norms they grew up with. For example, a person raised in a particular religious or cultural background may start to criticize those practices as they become more exposed to different lifestyles, forgetting the value those traditions held for their community. In summary, familiarity can lead to a decrease in appreciation and respect due to the comfort and routine it brings. Recognizing this tendency can help us consciously work to maintain respect and appreciation in our relationships and interactions.